


Wise Men Say (aka The Locked Room)

by MisMiz (Jaaaaack51)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fed Up Friends, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Locked In, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF, Matchmaking, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, One Shot, Requited Love, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:17:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5348822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaaaaack51/pseuds/MisMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vin and Chris are in denial. The rest of the seven are fed up. Ezra has a plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wise Men Say (aka The Locked Room)

WISE MEN SAY... (AKA THE LOCKED ROOM)

_There are none so blind as those who will not see…This means you, Vin Tanner._

"You ok, Vin?" Chris Larabee, leader of ATF Team 7, ran his hands over the sharpshooter's back and chest, checking for injuries.

Vin Tanner leaned into the gentle touch for a moment before twisting reluctantly away. "Aint hurt too bad. Why don't you go check on JD?" The sharpshooter was so busy looking anywhere but at his friend, that he missed the flash of emotion in Chris’s green eyes.

Giving the firm chest one last lingering touch, Chris straightened up and went over to where Nathan was kneeling next to a prone JD Dunne.

"How's he doing, Nate?" Chris questioned tersely.

"He'll be fine, Chris. Won't even need stitches."

"Ouch! Nathan! Thought you said this wouldn't hurt." JD's grumbling tone reassured the older man even more than the ex-medic's words. He smiled slightly and walked back over towards the sharpshooter, pulling out his cell phone and beginning the business of mopping up from their latest go around with the criminal element as he went.  
*******************************************  


_You really should have let him finish that sentence, Chris…_

"Dammit, Chris! You can't die. I..."

"Aint dead, Vin. Hurt too bad to be dead." Chris’s raspy whisper cut off whatever words the sharpshooter had been about to utter.

"Gonna hurt a lot worse when them docs get hold of you." Vin Tanner's grin was bright enough to light up the night sky; his emotions plain as day on the usually stoic countenance. But Chris’s eyes were tightly shut as he fought off a fresh wave of pain. And so he missed the brief display.  
******************************************  


_You know what they say about assumptions…_

"You doing anything this weekend, Vin?" Chris leaned against the sharpshooter's desk and began tapping his pencil on the sheaf of papers he held in his hand. A nervous habit that he did not usually indulge in.

"Was thinking about taking care of a few things. But nothing that can't wait. Why?"

"Would you like to go camping? Mary was telling me about this place Billy’s scout troop went last month. Said he’s been clamoring to go back. It’s supposed to be real pretty." Chris's voice grew soft on the last few words, causing Vin to frown, a hint of jealousy apparent in his face. To the close observer. Which Chris wasn't. He was too busy attempting to act casual.

"Sure, Chris. Matter of fact, why don't we ask the rest of the boys if they want to go? Or maybe some of the kids from my neighborhood. Aint too often they get out of the city. That is, if you think Mary wouldn't mind?" Just the faintest hint of spite colored the quiet drawl.

"Mary? Why would she...? Sure, Vin. That sounds fine." Chris sighed and trudged back to his office.  
*******************************************  


_Only fools rush in..._

"What the hell is taking them so long?" Vin paced up and down the corridor in the ER of the local hospital.

"It hasn't been that long, Vin. The doctor said he'll be fine." Nathan attempted to soothe the agitated young agent.

"I know." Vin stopped and ran his fingers through his shoulder length brown hair. "It's just that Chris is... I mean, I..."

"You can see him now." The tired looking doctor chose that moment to enter with the good news.

"Only two of you at a time. And only for a few minutes.", she cautioned, smiling briefly, "He'll be fine. But he needs to rest."

Vin was already moving towards the doors before she finished speaking and, with a glance at his companions, Ezra thanked the doctor and followed the sharpshooter.  
*****************************************  


_Face it like a grown up. When you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad?_

”Vin isn't hurt, is he?" Chris crouched down beside Nathan.

"Naw. Just banged up a little. Why don't you finish bandaging him up while I go see to Buck?"

"Uh...no. That's ok. You take care of Vin. I'll see to Buck." Chris stood up quickly and almost ran over to where Buck lay moaning and cursing.  
****************************************  


_And if you believe that, I have a bridge I can sell you…_

”I can't make it out to the ranch today, Chris. Ya'll can go riding without me." Vin fidgeted nervously as he spoke, his gaze fixed on Chris's desk.

"Everything ok?"

"Just fine." Vin continued staring at the desk as he backed out of Chris's office.  
*********************************************  


_They’ve had all they can stands and they can’t stands no more…_

”That’s it. I can't take it anymore! The sexual tension is killing me. And it’s not even mine! How two people can be so so..." Mustache quivering in annoyance, Buck Wilmington threw up his hands and flung himself onto the sofa in Ezra Standish's living room.

The elegant southern agent winced slightly as his very new, very expensive, sofa groaned in protest. At least he'd had the foresight to demand that Buck remove his boots before entering the condo.

“So unobservant? So foolish? So tiresome? I could go on indefinitely.” Ezra offered, handing Buck a beer and putting a coaster on the coffee table with an exaggerated flourish.

“I would say so incredibly annoying." JD put in his two cents.

Josiah raised his eyebrows and glanced at the young agent. "I didn't realize this had become such an issue for you, JD." The big man's voice was a low rumble.

JD flushed slightly. "It's just...that's all Casey wants to talk about every time I see her. How cute they are together. How sweet the whole thing is. Do I think they'll ever tell each other how they feel. Makes it hard for a fellow to... you know."

"Well now, JD. That's as sorry a tale as I've ever heard." Josiah's attempt to maintain a straight face failed miserably. He burst out laughing, as did the others.

"Oh shut up." JD muttered, sinking further into his chair.

"The boy's right, though. We gotta do something. Chris is like a bear with a sore toe. And Vin is walking around looking like someone just ran over his dog."

"Love can do that to a man." Nathan spoke sagely from his position in the rocking chair.

"Yeah." The five men shared a moment of commiseration.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" JD brought them all back to the question at hand.

"I believe I may have an idea." Ezra said thoughtfully, as he slowly took a sip from his glass.  
*******************************************  


_With friends like these…_

"Call maintenance, Buck." Chris spoke absently, ignoring the gentle tugging on his arm.

"They've gone home for the evening. We're the last ones here, remember?" Frustration sharpened the other man's usually genial tone. He tugged harder on the arm in his grasp.

Chris shot an annoyed glance at his oldest friend before sighing in surrender.

"Fine, Buck. I'll go take a look. Although what you expect me to do..." Chris's voice could be heard muttering imprecations concerning idle loafers and lack of peace and other rather unflattering things about the man who was trailing along behind him, surreptitiously digging through his pockets for a particular key.

I don't see anything wrong..." Chris whirled around at the sound of the door to the storeroom being slammed shut. The sound of the key turning in the lock added to his confusion.

"Buck?" He called sharply. Wanting to make certain the other man was ok.

"Now, Chris. This is for your own good. You'll thank us for it. One day." Buck's voice trailed off, leaving a very confused and extremely angry Chris in its wake.

"Buck? Buck! Unlock this door!. What's going on? If this is some kind of practical joke..." There was no response.

"If you don't unlock this door you're going to wish you were still scrubbing latrine floors in the Navy when I get through with you. Dammit, Buck." There was still no response.

"I'll tell Jenny where you _really_ were last weekend." Chris was pulling out the big guns now.

That got a response, even if it wasn’t the one Chris was hoping for.

"Awwww, Chris. I'm telling you. This is for your own good." That was Buck's story and he was sticking to it.

When the sounds coming from the locked room had finally faded to a dull roar, Buck decided it was safe to put the next part of the plan into action and pulled out his cell phone, moving just out of Chris’s hearing range.

"Didn't know Chris knew the dirty words in that many languages. What was that last one? Arabic or something?" Buck wondered aloud as he waited for Ezra to answer his call.

"Bring him on down." Buck interrupted Ezra's long winded greeting, ended the call, and went back to updating his Facebook status. He needed to make it something good. If their plan didn’t work and Chris somehow got loose, it might be the last thing he ever did.  
**********************************  


_With a little help from my friends…_

"Why does Chris want me to meet him in the storeroom?" Vin asked yet again. Ezra gritted his teeth. This was at least the fourth time Vin had asked that question in the last fifteen minutes.

"I do not question the orders of our illustrious leader. I merely obey them." Ezra said stiffly. And not entirely truthfully.

Vin grunted in disbelief. But he settled back down against the Jag's plush interior, trying to shake the spidey sense, as the kids in his building would say, that was telling him something wasn't quite right. If it was anyone other than these men, his friends, he'd have suspected he was being set up.

It wasn’t until after they had arrived at the office that he realized his spidey sense had been right all along. Buck and Josiah had appeared out of nowhere as soon as they had opened the door to Team 7’s offices, grabbing Vin and clapping a hand over his mouth while pinning his arms behind his back, Vin struggled fiercely against their hold and was rewarded by a muffled cry of pain.

"Dammit, Vin. That hurt. Josiah, grab that arm." Buck whispered fiercely. He didn't want Chris alerted to Vin's presence. It was going to be tricky enough trying to get Vin through the door without all hell breaking loose. _Should've just drugged them both._ , he thought sourly.

Ezra ignored the heated exchange taking place behind him and concentrated on getting the door open quietly enough so as not to alert their leader.

"Ready?" he turned and mouthed silently to the struggling trio.

Two emphatic nods and one angry glare were his only response.

Ezra flung open the door and quickly stepped to the side as Chris came charging out. Buck and Josiah heaved the sharpshooter into the room. Right into the path of a very surprised Chris. Leader and sharpshooter went down in a tangle of flailing limbs as the door was slammed shut and locked with sighs of relief.  
**********************************  


_Round and round and round they go…_

What the hell's going on, Chris?" Vin demanded angrily, once they'd gotten themselves untangled. He didn't look directly at Chris as he spoke. A fact which did not go unnoticed.

Chris stared icily in his direction. "Do I _look_ like I have any answers, here?"

"Sorry, pard." Vin sat down with a sigh across from the other man and leaned back against a box of office supplies.

"Have they just gone plumb loco?" he asked a few moments later.

Chris shrugged. "It's as good an explanation as any."

"You wouldn't happen to have your cell phone, would you?" Chris asked without much hope. He knew his team's attention to detail. They were the best.

"Nope."

"You tried talking to them?" Vin got up and walked over to the door.

"Yeah. But go ahead and give it a shot." Chris waved a hand in Vin's direction.

"Ezra? Buck? Josiah? Can ya'll tell us what we're supposed to be doing in here?" Vin was proud of how calm and reasonable he sounded. Exactly the way you were supposed to sound when dealing with madmen.

"See now? That's exactly it. Shouldn't have to ask that question. If you knew what the hell you were supposed to be doing, we wouldn't have had to resort to such drastic measures. Sheesh." Buck said in disgust.

"Ezra? What's he talking about?" Vin appealed to the southern agent, a note of desperation beginning to creep into his tone.

"I suggest you employ yourselves in a productive manner. We are quite prepared to wait and have much more comfortable facilities at our disposal than you do I’m afraid, so trying to outlast us would be a waste of your valuable time." The southern agent went to his desk and pulled out the deck of cards he kept in the top drawer.

"Just think about it, Brother Tanner. I'm sure one of you is bound to see the light." The encouraging words were marred by the somewhat doubtful tone in the ex-preacher's voice.

"You do something to piss them off?" Vin shot a questioning glance at his companion.

"No more so than usual." Chris's lips quirked in a slight smile.

"So, what do you think they're up to?"

"Don't know. I do know that I'm going to shoot Buck first thing. Soon as I get out of here. Someplace nice and painful." Chris's green eyes were thoughtful as he contemplated where that place might be.

"You been saying things like that to them out there?" Vin jerked a thumb towards the door.

Chris shrugged. "What else was I supposed to do?"

Vin regarded the other man through narrowed eyes. "You're being awful calm about this." he accused.

Chris shrugged again. "Getting upset isn’t going to get us out of here."

"What will?" Vin walked over and sat down next to Chris, who responded by edging away slightly.

"I aint got cooties." Vin told the other man irritably.

Chris eyed his companion warily. "Didn't think you had." he replied mildly.

"Then why are you always moving away every time I get near you lately?" To prove his point, Vin scooted a bit closer to Chris who began automatically drawing away, before catching himself. He folded his arms defiantly and glared at the sharpshooter. Daring him to say something.

"Why don't you ever look me in the eye, anymore." Chris demanded. Two could play at this game.

"I do." Vin replied weakly, eyes skittering away. He forced them back to meet Chris's gaze.

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Awwww hell. Ok, I don't. Are you happy now?"

"No. I want to know why you don't."

"Well, I want to know why you flinch every time I touch you."

"Ok, then."

"Ok."

"You feel like giving that window a go? You can stand on my shoulders."

"Think it'll work?"

"No. You want to try?"

"Yep."  
*********************************  


_You don’t have to take falling in love quite so literally boys…_

Vin balanced himself precariously on his companion's shoulders. He stretched his arm out. Just a bit further and he could reach. Almost there...

THUD!! CRASH!!! OOOOMPH!!!!

"Oh shit. Vin. Are you all right? Answer me, dammit. You're always getting hurt. Making me worry." The blond agent's hands were busily checking for injuries as he spoke. The touch became an unconscious caress as Chris realized that his companion was uninjured except for a few minor bumps and bruises.

"Chris?" the sharpshooter said when he'd regained his breath.

"What?" the hands were still absently rubbing his back.

"You're touching me." Vin pointed out.

Chris jerked his hands back like they'd been burned.

"No. I...I...didn't mind. Don't mind." The sharpshooter said softly.

The two men stared at each other for the space of a heartbeat. Then they became aware of the sound of frantic voices outside the door.

"What happened in there? You boys ok?" Josiah's bass rumble cut through the din of voices outside.

"It's probably just a trick. Wouldn't put anything past those sly dogs." Buck sounded as if he were speaking more to reassure himself than out of any real conviction.

"We're fine. Now go away." Chris ordered in his best "I'm the Boss" voice.

There was complete silence outside the door. Then Ezra's smug voice could be heard.

"I believe you gentlemen owe me a sum of money."  
*****************************************  


_Alls well that ends well. Or something along those lines…_

”So does this make _us_ the loco ones, now?" Vin smiled ruefully.

"I know _I've_ been feeling pretty crazy lately." Chris sat back and stared levelly at the sharpshooter, who sat up with a groan.

"Yeah. Me too."

"So what do we do about it?"

"What do you want to do?"

"This." Chris moved close to the sharpshooter and reached out to brush his lips lightly across his companion's mouth.

"And this." He ran a questing hand under Vin's shirt to touch the smooth flesh beneath.

"Yep. That's what I wanted to do, too." Vin was breathing heavily, the words coming out in gasps as Chris's hands and lips continued their exploration.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Chris whispered as he nibbled on a sensitive earlobe.

"That you can tell Mary she aint invited on our next camping trip." Vin pulled away from Chris to look him in the eye as he spoke.

"Hell, Vin. _You_ were the one who invited her on that trip. I had no intention of asking her, or anyone else, along. I was trying to ask _you._ "

"I was a damn fool, wasn't I?"

"Yes." At the look in the blue eyes, Chris relented. "Ok. We both were."

“And now what are we?" The sharpshooter asked, heart in his eyes.

“Two fools in love?” Buck offered, voice muffled slightly through the door.

“Well, love makes a fool of the wisest men.” Josiah said meditatively.

“And fools and their money are soon parted.” Ezra snapped his fingers impatiently at Buck and Josiah who reached reluctantly into their pockets for their respective wallets.

You know what would really be foolish?” Chris raised his voice slightly. He wanted to be very sure they heard every word of his next sentence. 

“To still be anywhere in the vicinity once we have unlocked this door?”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Ezra.” Chris agreed.

There was the small snick of the key turning in the lock and the sound of footsteps hurrying away and then it was silent except for the faint hum of the air coming from the vents.

“Been called worse things than a fool.” Vin finally said after long moments of silence. He glanced up at Chris, gauging his reaction.

“Me too, Vin. Me, too.” Chris pulled him closer and it was quite some time before either of them remembered the door was unlocked.

**Author's Note:**

> If I'd written the show, it definitely would have had at least one episode with those two locked in a small room together for an extended period of time.
> 
> Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
